An Open Letter from a Biological Mother to Her Daughter

Posted under Open Letter, Ramblings by Jennifer A. Ray

My Dearest Daughter,

Today is your eighteenth birthday and I have to say my emotions are even more tumultuous than they normally are this day every year.  I think about you every day, but your birthday always makes me think more about the things you have probably experienced throughout the last year.

Your childhood is over and you have become an adult.  I imagine you either graduated high school last year or will this year and are ready to start college.  The world is opening up for you and I trust your parents have prepared you to make your own way in this world.

I wonder what your plans for the future are.  Do your career interests lie in the artistic or academic worlds?  Do you have a definite plan for your next steps or are you trying to figure them out as you go along?  Are you going away for college or staying at home with your parents and attending a local university?

My sister gave birth to your first cousin on my side of the family last year.  She had a little girl.  Every time I look at her, I think of you even more.  I wonder if you looked like your cousin when you were a baby, if you had similar expressions, if you were as happy as she is.  More than anything I hope you were happy.

One day, I hope you and your cousin have the chance to meet.  I hope I get the chance to meet you and your parents.  I owe them so much for the life and the love they have given you and will provide in your future.  But whether or not those things every happen, I wish you and your parents joy and success.  Be well.

Happy Birthday.  I love you.

(Letters from previous years can be found here:  http://blog.jenaray.com/?cat=24)

  1. Mary Lou DeVriendt Said,

    Hi Jen,

    I just want to say God bless you for the beautiful and unselfish gift you gave your daughter. I am an adoptive parent with four beautiful adopted (adult) children. The youngest is 27, so I can’t be the adoptive mother of your daughter. I can tell you, though, that the longing a parent wanting to adopt has for a child can’t be explained unless you’ve experienced it. I wasn’t able to provide a perfect life for my children. No one can do that. But they always knew they were loved, and have become happy, secure adults. My oldest had emergency surgery last week. Her room was full of parents, step-parents, and grandparents. It was clear to everyone that this lovely young woman is dearly loved. I believe it’s safe to say that your daughter is also loved, because adoptive parents choose to have children, wait with longing for that to happen, and when it does, are filled with gratitude, awe, and love.

    When my kids were younger, I had a little plaque on the wall. It said:

    Not flesh of my flesh or bone of my bone
    But still miraculously my own.
    Never forget for a single minute
    You didn’t grow under my heart, but in it.

    On behalf of all adoptive parents, I thank you for the difficult, generous and loving choice you made for your daughter.

    Best wishes,
    Mary Lou

  2. Lise Said,

    BEAUTIFUL letter Jen. BEAUTIFUL. Mary Lou took the words out of my mouth ;-). Mary Lou, love the saying that was on the plaque.

  3. Natalie Said,



  4. WendyK Said,

    Ohh Jennifer what a beautiful letter. ((((((((((((((((((JENNIFER))))))))))))))))) tons of hugs sent your way today!

  5. stacy Said,

    ((((((((Jennifer))))))) Love you beautiful lady.


  6. Annmarie Said,

    You have a generous and beautiful soul. I love you.

  7. Maggie Said,

    What an incredible way to find peace and to give it. I hope that you can one day have a chance to see that meeting fulfilled. *hugs*

  8. Tianna Xander Said,

    That was a very beautiful post! I hope your daughter finds a was to contact you now that she has reached adulthood.

    My blessings.

  9. Lis Said,

    What a beautiful letter Jen. I hope your daughter makes her way to you somehow.

  10. Jess Said,

    That was a beautiful letter Jen, I truly hope that your daughter gets to read them one day.

    I wish a could give you a big hug in real life but i will have to settle for a virtual one

    (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Squishy Hug))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Add A Comment